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The Money Mom: Finding Childcare You Trust

iStock_000009906696XSmallI know from experience that one of the hardest parts of being a working mom is finding childcare you can rely on.  Leaving your child in the hands of someone else – for a whole day! – is never easy.

These days, there’s no shortage of services that will help place you with qualified, experienced caregivers.  But in my opinion, the absolute best way to find someone you and your children will love is word of mouth.  Talk to people you trust – other parents at the playground, your colleagues at work, or friends and relatives who have recently been through the same search.  Ask them what they like about the place or person they’ve chosen, and what their children like about it.  Then, sit down with your partner, if you have one, and make a list of what you’re looking for: The day-to-day duties of the job, how much you can afford to pay (the average, depending on where you live, is $10 – $15 an hour, according to www.4nannies.com), and how many hours you’ll need someone each week.Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to schedule a few interviews and ask the following questions:

1. What is your experience?

Only you can decide what you’re comfortable with, but I’ve found that decades of experience aren’t necessary.  But you do want someone who’s worked with multiple children in the past, and has the references to back it up.  Ask for names and numbers, and call them.  If you’re interviewing a place, like a daycare facility or someone who watches children in their home, go visit during rush hour and ask the parents who are picking up their kids how they like the service.  You’ll get lots of – unsolicited – comments.

2. What is your philosophy on discipline?

No matter what it is, it should be in line with your own.  You don’t want to confuse your children or be uncomfortable with how behavioral problems are handled.

3. What would an average day with my child be like?

The answer you’re looking for here depends on what an average day with you is like.  Do you mind if your children watch television, or do you prefer that they be outside playing?  Are you looking for someone who will take your kids on field trips, or would you prefer they stay closer to home?  If this person has experience with children, he or she should be able to suggest multiple educational activities, and they should be age and gender-specific.

4. Can you share some of your rules?

Again, the rules should align with your own.  No one feels exactly the same here, but if you’re strict and the nanny is loose, you’ll hear about it from your children and you’ll feel like the bad guy.  Any nanny should be willing to adapt to your house rules, but if she agrees with them, they’ll be much easier to enforce.

Finally, fill in your own blanks.  Do you want this person to have a car, so he or she can drive your children to activities?  Should he or she also be able (and willing) to help with basic homework questions?  Do you expect dinner to be prepared?  All the things you put on your initial list can be discussed now.

One last thing.  As a mother, you know this as well as I do:  Don’t ignore your gut instincts. They’re usually spot on.  But even if you have good vibes, I’d hire on a trial basis for a month or so, then set the deal in stone.