This Week In Your Wallet: Talk Doesn’t Have To Be Cheap
The last time you took the kids to visit Grandma and Grandpa, did you see any red flags? I’m talking financial ones, like a stack of unpaid bills on the kitchen table, or a heap of packages by the door? Maybe there weren’t any visible signs, but your ears perked up when they passively expressed confusion or concern over their bank accounts — a possible sign of not just aging issues, but fraud.
As I recently explained on TODAY, these aren’t signs to be taken lightly. Your parents may need help managing their finances – and since 70% of families find this difficult to talk about much less execute, I’d like to help.
For starters, you need to find out where their financial information lives, and who (if anyone) are the important people in their financial lives – accountants, financial planners, etc. If you find this conversation tough to start, put the onus on yourself. Say: “Mom, Dad, I’m starting to prepare for this time in my life. What did you do, and how did you go about it?” By taking this approach, you’ll reduce the likelihood of either parent becoming defensive, and up your chances of them having an open, straight-forward conversation. You’ll be the child asking the parent for advice – not the child trying to parent the parent. Then, from this initial conversation, you can inch toward asking if they need or would like your help now … or what might be the signs that they’d like it in the future.
For the rest of my advice, you can watch the full segment on jeanchatzky.com. There, you’ll also find a list of financial resources for caregivers, like Eldercare.gov. It’s run by the U.S. Administration on Aging, and it can help you search out resources in your parents’ communities for a wide variety of needs including: financial assistance, fraud prevention, housing options, legal assistance, long term care, and more. This site can be especially helpful to those who don’t live near their parents. To see the full list of resources, head here.
From talking to your parents to talking to each other…
Retirement talk with your spouse
As long as we’re dealing with tough topics, here’s another: Retirement, and how you’re probably not saving enough for it. I’m guessing you already know this, according to a recent survey. As USA TODAY reports, roughly three-quarters of employed adults say they’re contributing an average of 6.4% of their annual incomes, despite believing it should be double that amount. How much to save for retirement is a tricky question. My short answer: Don’t just pull a number out of the sky, run a retirement calculator to get some actual figures.
Now, as for talking about retirement together, the survey shows redeeming results. Apparently couples are having retirement talks 14 times a year, although they’re not as detailed and productive as they should be. If this sounds familiar, USA TODAY offers some tips on how to make an in-depth conversation happen. For instance, do a little fantasizing and glamorizing. Discuss the life you’ve always wanted to live over a romantic and delicious dinner for two. Make a reservation at the restaurant you’ve been meaning to try for months, dress up and get some vino involved. Loosen up and realize the conversation doesn’t have to be daunting. And when you’re enjoying your filets and each other’s company, refrain from pointing any fingers of blame. One of the worst mistakes couples can make together when trying to have the conversation is blaming each other for spending too much. For more, click on the full story.
Another opportunity to bond
An activity to do this weekend — if you’ve been putting it off — is your taxes. While it might not be as fun as wining and dining, it’s just as important as having that in-depth retirement talk. The good news? As DailyFinance reports, it’s possible to get them done in one weekend – you just need to invest the time. The article offers a Friday through Sunday outline of what to do and how to do it. For instance, this Friday night, get started by collecting the necessary documents (last year’s tax return, Social Security numbers, receipts etc.). On Saturday, fire up the tax software or take everything to a preparer (who works well on a deadline) and on Sunday, review every number. Read the full article for the day-to-day breakdown.
As for what I’ll be doing this weekend
I’ll be heading to Reston, Virginia for the 6th annual Get RADICAL Conference. I’ll be talking to the 400 (wow!) women in the room about how to get their financial acts together so that they can focus on the other, more important things in their lives. And it’s not just me – Laila Ali and Lori Greiner and many others will be there as well. If you’re in the area (or even if you’re not – there’s a version you can watch by live stream) and you don’t have anything doing, you can sign up here.
Have a great week,
Jean
