This Week in Your Wallet: November 8, 2011
Something has been bugging me recently. A few months ago, I came across a study that said the salaries of mean people are higher than the salaries of nice people. It essentially confirmed the “nice guys finish last” proverb, noting that mean men earned nearly $10,000 more than their nice-guy counterparts, and the “Mean Girls” of the office are earning nearly $2,000 more than their agreeable female coworkers.
Then, just a few weeks ago, the Wall Street Journal came out with an article saying that bad manners can actually cost you — in a retail setting, that is. (I’m not surprised. My friends who have worked as hostesses and sales reps say that they go out of their way to help customers who are pleasant and treat them with respect.)
But I was confused. Which helps your wallet more — being mean or being nice? I reached out to a few manners and career experts, and found that my gut (and what I’ve been telling my children all these years) is right: Please and thank you can go a long way, and you can be assertive without being mean. Here are some of the best tips that emerged from my conversations:
- There’s a difference between opportunity and obligation: Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute reminded me that “there’s no such thing as the thank-you note police. But it’s an opportunity to cement the relationship, and express gratitude.” Senning said the effects of thisare hard to quantify, but sending thank you notes and expressing gratitude within the workplace can develop your reputation in a positive way — one that might help you out later on.
- Etiquette offenses can be fireable: Senning noted that in a survey of managers, the majority said they’d fire an employee for an etiquette offense, with foul language and gossip topping the list of most offensive behaviors.
- Don’t sir and ma’am to death: “Don’t always put yourself below people. Anyone could overdo please and thank you, and could cultivate a submissive personality.” Senning said. However, he was quick to add this: “But they’re effective tools and to abandon them, you do so at yourown peril.”
- Don’t model your behavior after the 1 in 300,000,000: In talking to career expert Don Asher, I mentioned Steve Jobs — a man of remarkable accomplishment who, it has emerged, was less than civil towards employees at times. Asher said that while Jobs is an “interesting example,” he was that 1 in 300,000,000. Typically, the strategies that work for the “unusual” don’t work for the rest of us.
Now here are the other headlines of the week…
Dwindling financial acumen — are your parents keeping up with their finances?
According to a new study that came out of Texas Tech University, knowledge of investments, insurance, credit and other money basics falls about 2% each year after age 60. Participants in the study who were 80 and older scored just 30% on a quiz that tested them on each area.
This worried me, but not because I’m worried about my brain (at least, not yet!). I was thinking about my mother and older relatives. I don’t want my family members to make major money mistakes, but I also don’t want them to feel like I’m constantly watching over their shoulders. Money can be a difficult subject to bring up with older parents and relatives, but I firmly believe it’s a necessary conversation to have.
It can be a tricky conversation to navigate, but I always like to start by talking a little bit about what’s going on in my life as far as my own retirement planning. From there, I gently ask the questions that will indicate whether or not she is feeling good or bad, overwhelmed or on top of things. The key is to be compassionate, and let your parents know that you just want to support them (emotionally) as much as they’ve supported you over the years. For more tips on how to talk to your parents about money, check out this blog post I wrote.
Ask for directions and make more money
Well… not exactly. But close.
A fun new article in Forbes talks about how thinking like a woman can help men make more money. How and why? The author writes that men often let their pride get in the way (hence that two-hour detour on your way to the Poconos, despite your pleas to stop for directions), and in a finance settingthis can lead to one bad trade turning into two, three, four, etc. Self-awareness and the ability to reflect and plan are other traits that are more prevalent in women — traits that also can help a person succeedin the investing world.
Women, feel free to take this to your husbands and do a little happy dance — many of your instincts have been right all along. Men, maybe listen to your wife when she tells you to take a breath after an argument (or better yet, ask for directions when you’re lost) — it will literally pay off in dividends.
Have a great week!
Jean
