Mailbag Monday: Retiring at Different Times
This is my second marriage. My husband is financially secure and retired. I am not and must keep working. He wants me to retire, but how do we rectify the financial differences? Should he set aside an amount of money for me or should I keep working?
— Lynn
Lynn, my first question for you has nothing to do with money: Do you want to keep working? A lot of people continue to work past what might be considered a “traditional” retirement age for reasons beyond the financial: They enjoy their jobs, they like having somewhere to be everyday, they want to keep their skills and their minds sharp.
If you’re one of those people, I think you need to sit down with your husband and explain that, money aside, you’re just not ready to pull back. You could compromise, by lightening your work load or talking to your employer about working part-time or giving up one day a week so you can spend more time with your husband.
On the other hand, if it’s strictly about the money, I assume your husband is aware of your financial situation and he’s planning to offer support if you retire before you’re financially ready. I think that’s very generous. But I also think you have to consider the worst-case scenario: In other words, if you pulled out of the workforce at the request of your husband, and then your marriage fell apart and you were left with no job and little retirement savings of your own (assuming you don’t live in a community property state). I think it’s important to be financially independent, especially if that independence helps you sleep at night. At the same time, many married couples plan their retirement jointly, based on shared assets, and there isn’t anything wrong with that approach.
If you don’t see a risk here, and he’s financially secure enough to foot the bill for both of your retirements, and you’re ready to retire, you probably have your decision. But I still might encourage you to ease into this, by taking my suggestion of scaling back first. You can always jump out of the workforce with both feet later.
